We were girls once by Aiwanose Odafen
"Did you ever see me abandon my responsibility to chase ridiculous ambitions? Who do you think you are?"
This book is the sequel to, Today I Become a Woman, although it can be read as a stand alone book, it is much more enjoyable when it is read as a sequel, relating events and timelines. Uju, Ada and Chinelo’s girls are all grown women, predestined like their mothers to be friends, the story follows Ego, Zina and Eriife, who try to chart their own paths of life, working through their lives, facing their demons, and finding comfort in one another.
Like their mothers while outwardly projecting their independence, their silent need for parental approval, influences their choices, Ego and her estranged father, Zina and her mother, and Eriife who jumped into the hands of an older man at the first sight of love, oe what looks like it.
Parental rejection is something that tears down even the most confident of people, the bond between a child and a parent is sacred, the safest space to go is the bosom of your mother, or the shoulder of your father, and when even that is not available, it triggers even the most resilient of us,making us feel unwanted and unloved, and that leads to making some dangerous decisions.
This book is the coming of age story, of women , finding themselves ,for most of us and by most i mean women, we aren’t really given the opportunity, to get to know ourselves, to befriend ourselves and love ourselves, we go through life with a rule book handed down by the present occupier of authority in our lives, parents, boyfriends/ husbands and even the state,for some of us the awakening comes after a life altering experience, where we have to bite the bullet and face the reflection in the mirror everyday,and for some of us sadly it never comes.
The ladies have to brave their fears, confront their demons, and help each other on the journey to self, Ego, Zina, and Errife have been through some very traumatic experiences, and just like most of us, they preferred to chase distractions, or use smokescreens of braggado, and nonchalance to get away from the truth, anything but coming to terms with themselves and healing, it takes people who love them to stick with them and hold their hands through this.
This is a story of sisterhood, second chances, love, redemption, healing and awareness, it was difficult to miss the Nigerian history lessons in both books, the backdrops of political undertones, and socio-economic issues which viciously plague the country to this day, The patriotism and fervour, speaks loud and clear because like every Nigerian home and abroad, we love our country with as much intensity as we agonize and complain about it
The book attempted to cover so much time, and the story felt a bit cut and join at some point, overall, it was a heartwarming read and sooooo much easier to read than the prequel, Today I Become A Woman.
Overall an enjoyable read, and i hope you enjoy it as much i did. excited to see more this author.